The lost of loved relatives

Goodbye powerless letter

Feels sometimes like drawing on a pain that is not heard or gets any compassion. It is a pain that seems would last a lifetime.  I dont know how to be able to handle this straight to the heart. I write with the hope that when we can meet again  I can talk to you about all those writtings you inspired me to do.

There is nothing to regreat,  there is no room for that in this short life. You put me in a hard situation where I have to travel one million light year away from what I have called "home". Meanwhile, I leave my thoughts written here with my heart on my hand. I want to believe you know about this, but my mind plays tricks on me, so the percentage that you know what I´m doing is reduced to nothing.

I can hear the music playing outside, I tried to go out and enjoy this neighborhood traditional party. I don't feel like going out on this gray afternoon without your colorful smile.

I prefer my loneliness right now and spend my time writting you this. Its hard to talk to family and friends and deal with everybody sad faces expression. 

I hear a song, I see the fireworks I look at the smile of couples, families and you are there. All those things, my customs, environments, seems that you took all that  and left me on an unbreathable place. I can't feel the happiness of this festival, I feel like I still need to cry until I get absolutely dry and after that take a nap and come back to reality. Is the sequence of the last 2 days.
I want my peace back, the tranquility of our conversations, the surprising tickles that would make me feel alive more than ever right now. Yes, I think I´m safe under my own skin, but you used to improved that feeling.  
I want to feel that again and I still can hear your voice, to bury the bad memories of the bad moments and  start to build a new beginning. But I´m probably wrong, this is a fake hope, is a turning point in my life